mercurymusing

'God' in it!

2006-03-14T18:00:00.000+04:00

A good, easy and quick read! That’s the feeling you get when you finish reading Chetan Bhagat’s “One night @ the call centre”. It also gave me a feeling that I could relate better to the call centre guys than to the IIT-ians. However you can’t dismiss the feeling that last 50 odd pages were “bollywood style” giving out strong “make me into a movie” signals. Even if one could convince oneself to believe that the characters survived the awful car accident, it’s extremely difficult to believe the telephone call with God. Thankfully the author himself deals with it in the epilogue. And when given an option to choose between two versions, one with God and the other without, he opts for the one with God, which seems like an obvious choice. The narrator then says, “Just like life. Rational or not, it just gets better with God in it”

I must have read / repeated this sentence more than a 100 times, since I finished the book last night. It feels good!

Simple Joys of Life - 1

2006-03-10T18:40:00.000+04:00

To have one of your favourite songs played on the radio while you drive and zip past the lights, not having to brake or cut gears.

Observations :

The feeling of joy is enhanced if there is no traffic and one is able to shift to the top gear.
The effect is dramatic if its bright sunny morning and there's a gentle breeze, and the song is as good as “Kaisi hain yeh rithu ki…..

Bazooka

2005-09-05T18:22:00.000+04:00

I heard a woman on radio this morning saying the word Bazooka sounds very East European and what comes to her mind - is a woman in a flowery skirt dancing. I was amazed at people's thougt process. There are a few things that came to my mind on hearing the word bazooka, but surely not a woman in a flowery skirt!!

At the first instance I thought of a huge airplane (beluga connection?), next thing that came to my mind was “Videocon Bazooka”. It also sounded like some magic spell, a distant cousin of “jee boom ba”. I would associate the word Bazooka with anything that is round, roly-poly, chubby etc.

Coming to think of it, who ever said the woman in the flowery skirt dancing around, should “be” slim & slender!

Never the same.......

2005-09-04T20:49:00.000+04:00

There are few things in life, that once experienced, never let's the person be the same again. I recently had two such experiences. One was the visit to the Europe, the history and beauty of the place changes one's outlook towards life.

The other is Ayn Rand. I had read the Fountainhead some time back and felt very rejuvenated and recharged. Before the feeling could wane, I picked up Atlas Shrugged, but repeated attempts to read the book, just left me depressed and defeated. It’s more than a year now, and purely for want of anything else to read, I started (again) to read Atlas Shrugged. Once I had crossed 100 pages, I knew this time I wouldn’t put the book down till I finished. It has been a superb experience just reading a book and living with the characters for the last one week. Like any other book, I'm sad its going to end, despite 1000+ pages I still feel, I have not had enough of it. I also know that had the story continued, it would not have been as interesting, but nevertheless it still makes me want to read on and on. This, I think, truly reflects the brilliance of the author, making the reader want for more. I don’t think I can ever imagine the characters in the book to be fictional; they have become part of my life.

But having said this, I feel it depends on how much value one attaches to these experiences. Going to Europe may not be a big deal for some people or for that matter spending week to 10 days reading a book may sound criminal to some people. These things are important to me; I cherish these experiences. Somewhere deep down there is also a feeling of pride and achievement ;)

Freedom from ?

2005-08-16T17:33:00.000+04:00

Forgetfulness is a form of freedom - Khalil Gibran

Events or experiences of everyday life, be it pleasant or unpleasant, but with special significance graduate to become memories. All along I have been of the opinion that these experiences play a major role in the grooming of a person and the development of his ideologies. I believed that a person is, what he is, largely due to the impact of certain events or experiences in one's life etched in his memory. But this line of the poet has made me think...........

If one has to forget all that made him or all that he identifies with, to achieve freedom, then what exactly is this freedom, what does the poet implicate?

What the poet means, is freedom from one's own self, freedom from the identity dreived from memories and experiences. I would certainly want that kind of freedom. The freedom of just "being" and not "being someone". Unfortunately it's not a question of choice, it's a way of life and surely not an easy one.

The words are so simple yet so intense.

Accident

2005-06-17T10:52:00.000+04:00

My soul is hurt, and is weeping a corner.
My heart is shattered and strewn around the make believe world.
My mind, used to taking orders from my heart, is lost completely.
The road to recovery to long, dark and lonely, and the will is not as strong.
The pain may wane with time, but the scars are there to be.

Meeting at the office

2005-04-26T18:46:00.000+04:00

The whole purpose of a meeting is defeated if there is no proper exchange of information. I think most people blindly believe in the statement "Boss is always right" - may be he is most times, but he may not be too, he is human after all. I can't understand how people can sit through a meeting without voicing their opinions, knowing very well that they don't agree with what's being discussed. Reasons could be :

Boss may not be open to suggestions
May not be willing to see the team's view point
Boss may have different kind of pressures at his end.

Our team is fairly new, and we work under tremendous stress, which is accepted and acknowledged by all. In such a scenario, there are more chances to voice our opinions and be heard too. But most of my teammates operate on the premise that the boss would not agree to what they say. Another reason being, if the team challenges the Boss and for some reason beyond their control, are not able to prove their point, then they get into a much more difficult situation. So they feel, they are better off taking orders. Ultimately I feel this reflects poorly on the team as such, because the outcome is not in line with expectations.

The universal truth about financial markets is that, nobody can "time" it, and perception differs from investor to investor. Unless the team gives proper feed back on investor sentiments and mentality, it would be very difficult for a financial institution to structure a reasonably good investment product. In today's market, it's possible to come up financial structures of varying combinations. Markets are mature and technology is superior, and this can be used to the best advantage of the investor. But when there is a bunch of jokers discussing exotic financial structures, using hi-end jargons, without any clue what they are talking about, how can one expect proper dissemination of information. I have in the last six months seen my teammates going ga- ga over investment products in front of the boss and later on breaking their head over the terms of the structure. And when finally after the deal is done and the structure sinks in, they realize it was not that good after all.

In our meeting today, we decided the future strategy would be to target big tickets - meaning USD1mm and above. I had to try hard to control myself from laughing. Guess, I don't fit there!!

Life......

2005-04-25T18:07:00.000+04:00

Life is such a beautiful BITCH !!!

Restlessness

2005-04-24T19:40:00.000+04:00

It’s a restless feeling, searching for something is bad enough, but what's worse is not knowing what you have lost or what you are searching for. One way to overcome this feeling is to be in company. But I treasure my solitude and silence. Very rarely do I come across people with whom I would like to share it. These people don't break into my solitude and don't shatter my silence, they are present but hardly seen, the presence is felt every moment. They rarely speak but yet they convey so much, I can't hear the voices, but there's a dialogue.

Is it my mood or I?

I don't know if I have met these people, but at different stages I'm sure I have experienced their presence. Do these people exist or is it just wishful thinking? I don't know, because 'm quite capable of confusing fictional characters with real life ones. However, I feel it's an insult to the intelligence of the writers and brilliance of these characters to call them "fictional". Well, that's another story, for another day.

Music Time

2005-04-18T17:01:00.000+04:00

A song that has appealed to me after a long time:

♫ Mein ne dhil se kaha ♪ doond laana khushi, ♪
Nasamaj ♪ laya ghum, ♪ tho yeh ghum hi sahi ♫

Anybody reading this, who knows the singer and the movie, please do let me know.

Random Thoughts

2005-04-17T17:46:00.000+04:00

The idea of starting this blog was to capture those fleeting thoughts, which are either amusing or enlightening. And I wish I could say the demands of everyday life, don't permit such luxuries of time. But that's not true, although it may partly be true. The day of revelation could have been a busy day, and I could have missed recording it here.

Nevertheless some thoughts don't fade that easily and so here it is:

Don't search for non-existent patterns accept the randomness of life. A very important lesson learnt from a person who, it now seems, was destined to meet me just to impart this "gyan".

Another life-time to live my un-lived dreams, for there is so much see and savor in this world, sometimes I feel one life time is not enough. Of course being a Hindu helps, the belief in rebirth keeps me going. Whatever happens or changes one thing I know for sure, I would like to be born a woman again.

Hong Kong, Live it! Love it! How true. The best things about Hong Kong are the walks and the Octopus Card. Oh what a relief not handling coins and not worrying about credit card statements.

Worst of all heartaches is unsolicited romantic love, another lesson learnt.

Colour Assault - 2

2005-03-24T17:04:00.000+04:00

This entry should be dated a day earlier…..but, guess it took me this long to recover from the shock. Just toooooo much!!! I don’t remember much about the shirt, trouser or the tie, it was more or less fine, unlike the previous episode. This time it was the “footwear”. Here it goes - shirt, trouser and tie in shades of green and grey with bright red bathroom (read Hawaii) slippers. Need I say more ? :( !

Blessed Day

2005-03-15T21:37:00.000+04:00

I have not posted anything here for the last few days, because nothing of real consequence happened in these days, or may be it did and I was too preoccupied to notice and register the interesting nuances of everyday life. But today is a blessed day and I wanted to make a note of it and hence this post.

On a personal level it has been a day of major achievement, a day of happiness, excitement and contentment.

It’s been a long and tough journey so far, but it’s been worth while.

Thank you God!

Colour Assault

2005-02-27T21:17:00.000+04:00

I'm at times appalled by people's dressing sense. I happened to be with an extremely colorful man in the elevator this morning. He was wearing, orange (closely) striped shirt, I think the background colour of the shirt was yellow, as I could see some yellow between the stripes, maroon tie with some sparse dot like design in yellow and navy blue trousers. I didn't get a chance to see his shoes. By the time I came to terms with this colour assault he got out of the elevator.

Please have mercy folks....

The Bridges of Madison County

2005-02-19T22:26:00.000+04:00

The Bridges of Madison County – my all time favourite. I had wanted to watch the movie for a long time and got a chance to watch it over the weekend. Clint Eastwood and Merryl Streep were at their best, no doubt, the photography was brilliant, and everything about the movie was as beautiful as it should be.

But, after watching the movie I felt, rather, couldn’t help feeling, that something was lacking, the movie was not as profound as the book. I tried my best to stop thinking about it and even read the bits and pieces of the book again. But sadly, I continue to feel that the intensity of the written word was not adequately transposed.

“In a universe of ambiguity, this kind of certainty comes only once ………” R J Waller

Trivial Trivia

2005-02-16T17:48:00.000+04:00

I don't tune in to the radio often these days, today I realized why. After a pleasant experience on 14th (V Day), I turned on the radio hopefully this morning. Gosh!! It was so very irritating, screechy voices of RJs and sleepy or sometimes highly excited voices of callers. I am surprised how people even think of calling a radio station at 8 in the morning. Most of them are on the roads wading through the traffic. This is a kind of a vicious cycle, radio stations have such programs in the morning to keep people on the road entertained (supposedly) and beat out the frustration of traffi- jams. On the other hand they have become a major source of distraction and contribute to the traffic-jams since drivers are not focused. How do people find it exciting to engage in frivolous conversation early in the morning? Even worse, how do RJs do it day in and day out, with unfailing enthusiasm? One has to sincerely appreciate the brain behind these programs, their consistency and perseverance in churning out crazy contests with weird questions. Not to leave alone our "junta" for devouring it with as much enthusiasm- gross insult to the human intelligence. I wonder if the average human intelligence is really so poor or is it a fact that people like to engage in meaningless chatter as a means to escape from reality, or is it because they like to get things free. I would restrain from commenting on the human intelligence and people's mentality. But I know for sure there is no free lunch and hence, if the question asked on the radio is sensible(remote), one pays for it with his knowledge, if the question is stupid, he pays for it by further display of his stupidity, both ways its paid for.

The media have a certain amount of social responsibility as everybody knows.They sure do air some informative programs, but they don't do it during prime time. They don't air such programs in the morning when people are rushing to work and too busy to concentrate. So they come up with silly programs and contests, which do not require mental effort. But sadly due to the constant regularity of such programs and monotony of everyday life, people have forgotten the use their mental capabilities.

Anyways both sides are to be blamed for the current state of affairs, hope one of them will "wake up" before it's too late.

"A stupid man's report of what a clever man says can never be accurate, because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can understand. "Bertrand Russell

Positivism

2005-02-14T22:21:00.000+04:00

My mind is all muddled up today. What I thought would be a pleasant drive this morning turned out to be a nightmare. Rather than dwelling on the negatives, I will list out now, the positive aspects of day:
1. Liked the new blouse I wore today
2. Pleasant weather when I left home this morning
3. Fairly good songs on the radio - Valentine's Day special
4. Interesting mails and messages from friends
5. Restrained from eating junk food
6. Not much of nagging from the boss (he was not well)
7. Liked the “baingan” curry I made for dinner
8. Had to search for some papers at home, found them without much hassle
9. Early evening it seemed as though I would not be able to finish all my chores, but managed to finish most of it reasonably well

And finally thanks to my friend and her prodding throughout the day I have at last updated my blog. A technical error or so she claims, sent her mail asking me when I intend to update my blog 4 times in 4 hours.

Just before I left work this evening, she told me something I found extremely interesting, and which I think is largely true – with all due respect to my male friends. She heard one of her male colleagues saying that, the first thing that comes to a man’s mind when he meets a woman, is whether the woman will fall for him – his charms, and what are the chances that he will have a “good time” with the woman, meaning I guess, a casual affair. She was absolutely furious when she called me and said “I wonder if these guys have mirrors at home, and if they do, may be they don’t look at themselves often.”

Since I’m still in a positive mood, I hope there are (enough) exceptions to this norm as well.

Being a Woman - II

2005-02-11T12:17:00.000+04:00

Woman is the future of man. That means that the world which was once formed in man's image will now be transformed to the image of woman. The more technical and mechanical, cold and metallic it becomes, the more it will need the kind of warmth that only the woman can give it. If we want to save the world, we must adapt to the woman, let ourselves be led by the woman, let ourselves be penetrated by the Ewigweiblich, the eternally feminine! -- Milan Kundera

Nothing to beat Kundera!!

Being a Woman

2005-02-08T18:02:00.000+04:00

I met an interesting girl yesterday, a maid in one of the neighbouringapartments. She is from a remote village down south and speaks my language. I saw her speaking to my neighbour in Hindi. Although it's not very surprising these days to see South Indians speak Hindi, this girl intrigued me. Considering the anti Hindi protests in the South of India few years back, I was wondering how a girl from a small village down south managed to pick up Hindi. From one of her former employers I presumed, though I did not ask her. It takes a lot of courage and determination to come all the way to the Middle East and work as a maid, where the daily newspapers are filled with horrors of maid abusing. This girl, Vasanthi, has surely come a long way and I was overwhelmed by her strength. I am sure she supports her family back home and hopes to get married and settle down some day, like any other girl in her village.

Meeting Vasanthi made me think... From being a cute little girl, to a boisterous teenager and then to a responsible adult, a woman constantly evolves, physically and mentally. Adorns various roles in different phases of life, and plays her roles to the best of her abilities, given the constraints in terms of social and familial backgrounds. What hurts most is that they don't get credit for what they are and what they do and sometimes even highly criticized.

I wish to record here my appreciation for all the woman in my life, starting from my Mother to Vasanthi - whom I met for a few minutes, for what they are -personification of strength and affection, two extreme qualities, in perfect combination, resulting in a woman of substance.

Celebrate Life

2005-02-05T19:09:00.000+04:00

How does one maintain optimism, positivism, objectivity and more than anything else sanity - in a mad house?

Is life really that bad? The honest answer would be, NO, not at all. I have absolutely no right to make a statement like the one above. Just that sometimes I feel that way.

Life is beautiful and magical.

Hope

2005-02-02T21:48:00.000+04:00

I was feeling extremely positive when I was driving to work this morning. I told myself never ever would I tell or feel again that I’m unlucky. I said to myself that by thinking or feeling that way I let the luckless-ness seep into my life. I had decided then to write about it and capture the feeling permanently.

Now it’s late in the night, I wouldn’t say I don’t feel the same way as I felt this morning, but something is amiss. The feeling is not strong enough. However I know I’m lucky and need to be thankful for a lot of things in life, so what if a few things don’t work in my favour?

Tomorrow is a another day and there’s always HOPE!!

Lost in Translation

2005-02-01T21:26:00.000+04:00

I think it was a dream,
it should be.
Somewhere in the world of words
we met,
clearing the webs we braved ahead,
oblivious to the intricacies of the maze,
aiming to liberate ourselves,
we surged ahead.
Engrossed in illusive thoughts,
mersmerised by written words,
we are now,
in the middle of no where,
bound more than ever.

Lost in translation.

Thanks

2005-01-31T21:10:00.000+04:00

Thanks Kalyat...

Today

2004-12-25T22:08:00.000+04:00

Over the last few months I have been reading blogs of various people. The blogs have tickled and pickled my brain and I have been tempted for a while now, to start a blog of my own, which I've been putting off. At last the deed is done, despite the reservations. The qualms were primarily because I may not be regular with my postings and I may not be able to come up with anything interesting to write about, and then there are people who will read this blog, whose views may differ from mine......... but isn't it understood and accepted ? to be read and commented? Nevertheless here I am, if not anything else, with the hope that this blog would help me overcome the mundane events of my daily life, and organize my thoughts.

**********
In response to a simple Christmas greeting, I got a mail, a sermon on salvation from a client - a born again Christian. I have nothing against the Christianity or against Christians, having studied in a convent all through school, 'm ever thankful to these institutions for the way in which they groom the impressionable minds, although a lot seems to have changed since my school days. I am not very religious, surely not ritualistic, albeit interested in theology and philosophy.

The last time I met this gentleman, with his wife at his residence, he gave me a book on Jesus Christ and the husband and wife were all out to convince me that the only path to salvation was through Jesus Christ. I don't know what made them think I was a potential convert. I tried my best to explain to them with my limited knowledge that all religions in principle taught the same thing. Defeated in my mission I finally left their house with the book and a cassette - testimony of a convert.

What I tried to tell them that day and still so strongly believe in is that, all religions teach us how to reach salvation or "mukthi", by being better human beings or in other words by staying away from sin. Whether we choose to believe that, this is attained through the cycle of births and rebirths or through a single birth, following the teachings of a prophet is left to us, to our upbringing and social set up. The philosophy that appeals to one, may not necessarily appeal to another.

As long as man realizes this and exercises a certain amount of religious tolerance, the world would be a better place to live in. What starts today as a casual discussion over tea, may end up tomorrow in forceful conversion or agitation against a particular religion. There should be faith either in a supreme power or in some philosophy which would help one to be a better human being, this need not be called "religion" or the faith need not be invested in person called "God", these are necessary to make life livable. After all who knows whether heaven or hell exists, nobody has returned confirming everlasting peace and happiness.

"The conditions of life may include error" - Nietzsche